Susannah B. Lewis Recounts How The Death Of Her Alcoholic Dad Affected Her Relationships and Her Thought Process
Susannah B. Lewis had an epiphany one day and realized how the death of her alcoholic dad affected her relationships and her thought process. She decided to sit down and write it all out. Her article is amazing and very touching. It makes you question why you do the certain things that you do. Lewis explains, “My father was hilarious and creative and the best friend that a guy with a truck stuck in a ditch at 4 am could have.” She did not hold resentment towards him, “He was intelligent and hard-working and the life of the party. He could strum a guitar and build a tree house and fix a satellite dish.” She explains, “He was a great friend and employee, and I thought he was a great father.”
Lewis goes on to explain that not only was her father an alcoholic, but her grandfather was one as well. She also recounts how her father always smelled like sweet Tennessee whiskey. Lewis went on to explain the her father was not a deadbeat drunk. She explained that he went to work everyday, but instead of going home after work, he went drinking. Looking back at the situation as a child, she explained how she thought is was normal for her father to act like this and for her mother to run the house completely. Her mother acted as both parents.
This did not directly impact Lewis until she had children. She caught herself pushing her husband out of the way and taking over. She then realized that she did not have to do that. Her husband was reliable and there to be a father.
Did get sober when she was 10 years old and tried drastically to makeup for his behavior. He bought her and her mom gifts and would take them places. It was great for about a year. Then he fell back into his old habits one night and passed away from a heart attack the next day. Lewis was only 11 years old.
Lewis went on to explain that her father also had a patience problem. He had no patience for anything and she inherited that as well. She found this realization to be heartbreaking. She explained that her father took her to the zoo once and rushed her through everything, because there was no alcohol at the zoo. She reminisces, “I remember my father saying, “Let’s go,” when it wasn’t absolutely necessary for us to go anywhere.” Lewis explains, “His words made me feel nervous and anxious as if my idea of enjoyment and contentment was stupid.”
She realized one day when she took her kids to the zoo, she did the same thing that he had done to her.
She recounts rushing them through the zoo, in order to be done with it and finish her errands by a certain time. Lewis states, “Thing is, my kids were completely content watching the meerkats. And I ruined it for them.”
She realized just how much her father and hid alcoholism had a direct affect on her and all of her relationships after him. She is now making a conscious effort to fix this situation.