Resentment Can Hold Anyone Back in Life and That is Especially True For Addicts
Resentment is the experience of a negative emotion, like anger or hatred, felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong doing upon yourself. Everyone has felt this feeling, but some people cannot let go of this feeling. Let’s just say, you have a coworker that continually tries to take credit for the hard work you do and they get a promotion. How would that make you feel? That is where resentment comes into play. You begin to feel anger and other negative emotions towards that person. If you do not let it go and move on, you will be headed for a disaster.
Resentment is the number one cause for relapses in recovery. An addict is often overflowing of this type of negative emotion as a result of perceived injustices against them. Addicts and alcohols will frequently use this emotion as an excuse for their dangerous behavior. Becoming sober will continually bring up this emotion. This situation can be dangerous, because too much resentment will lead to relapse.
Common reasons for resentful emotions include:
- Other people trying to control your life
- Not receiving a reaction that you thought you would
- Other people acting superior to you
- Other people getting in the way of your actions to be happy or succeed
- People who are hypocritical
- Superiors who abuse their power
- When people lie
The reasons why people in recovery harbor resentments are:
- Not getting credit for the effort they are putting into their recovery
- Feeling like no one trusts them
- People interfering too much in their life
- Recovery is harder then they expected
- When other addicts are doing better with recovery than they are
- People who try to get in the way of their recovery
In order to move forward with recovery you need to let go of all resentments. Holding on to this negative emotion will only bring you down. Do not focus on how someone else and their behavior. Focus on yourself. By focusing on other people you will begin to ignore their own behavior. You can only fix yourself in recovery, not everybody else. The only one that is being hurt in all of this is yourself. You are holding it inside or constantly thinking about the situation that made you resentful, instead of focusing on moving forward. You may even be thinking of ways to get even with this individual. The best thing you can do is move forward in a positive way. Do not let this person get the best of you. In the end, being happy and positive will prove to them that their actions did not effect you in anyway. Resentful feelings may even be a misunderstanding and recovery is all about rebuilding relationships. Take the time to reassess the situation from a different perspective. Maybe you can rekindle the relationship or move on in a positive way. You will not be able to progress if you continue to hold on to resentments. It will only weigh you down.