Relationship intervention does not necessary mean either party needs to be rescued from an un-resolvable abusive or detrimental relationship. It simply means a relationship intervention that will help correct some issues which are leading to an unhealthy connection.
While there are many issues which interventionists and therapists must address, there are four main areas in any relationship which these can, and do fall under.
Relationship interventionists and therapists must select the most critical parts of a relationship which are not working for the couple before they can maximize the help they can provide the couple. The interventionists and therapists use the intake assessment, interaction, and intuition when selecting which skills to use during a life intervention and subsequent therapy.
Relationship Intervention Starts with Communication Skills
One of the most difficult and crucial parts of staging an intervention is when a couple can’t or won’t communicate without fighting or anger. The first stage of an intervention with the outcome of treatment is to teach them to use discipline, actively communicate, and utilize time to cool off and think before tackling a big problem.
It makes much more sense to teach a couple active communication skills such as active listening and time-out sessions until they become second nature. Once these are in place, they can then apply them to the four main areas in the relationship which need work.
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Inventory the Relationship
When intervening in a relationship, the first place interventionists and therapists start is by having the couple take inventory of what they appreciate, both past and present, about their partner and the relationship. By aiding them in remembering the feelings they have about their partner and the relationship, they can awaken within themselves and their partner those same feelings that bonded their relationship in the first place.
Create Acts of Serendipity
Another part of relationship intervention will also ask couples to commit to acts of serendipity. These are selfless acts and gestures towards their partner for the soul purpose of sincere pleasure without desire or expectation of reciprocity.
Whether this act is a gift, a back massage, a gesture of goodwill, fixing something in the home or for the partner, or giving them something intrinsic, what matters is the gift is something that the partner will greatly appreciate and the giver finds the act within himself to desire giving that gift. This request often has the effect of rekindling positive interactions and feelings within the relationship.
Create a Space of Forgiveness
Relationship intervention may also seek to create a space where forgiveness happens. Often interventionists and therapists will ask willing partners to forgive transgressions of their partners. This entails that they set aside pride, rage, revenge, and personal pain for the common goal of eliciting tranquility within the relationship.
The very act of sincere forgiveness can enable the hurt partner to move forward and authentically respect their partners capacity for being human. As long as there is not a repeated pattern of abuse or insincerity for alternative means.
Creating a Desire for Mutual Affection
Physical affection and sexual relations are a crucial part of a cohesive relationship. The very act of hugging, kissing, and sex produces feelings of comfort, pleasure, release of tension, and felicitates boding within the relationship. These qualities can often assist in resolving conflict and aid in forgiveness.
Many relationships falter when couples use sex or affection as currency for achieving their own expectations. Others falter when affection and sex simply ceases. Interventionists and therapists will aid them in creating a space where affection and willingness to set aside other desires or conflicts is achieved so that the partners can resume physical affections.
Approaches to Strengthening the Relationship
When all four areas of inventory, serendipity, forgiveness, and physical affection are restored and a basis of active and peaceful communications are achieved, then couples can begin working on deeper conflicts and issues to strengthen the bonds that hold them together.
As such bonds are strengthened, positive interactions become more frequent and conflict resolution becomes easier for the couple.
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